I haven’t been able to write much for the past couple of weeks. I haven’t wanted to write, really. I haven’t wanted to sit in my vulnerability. As my partner put it the other day, “I don’t want them to see me sweat.” The them being the Trump administration and all of its enablers. I am tired of giving airtime to Trump. I am tired of feeling like I’m on a speeding train watching the things I care about disappear, then reappear. At the same time we are witnessing blatant cruelty, we are also witnessing brilliant strength and resilience. We aren’t giving up. I see all of the people who are fighting every single day. It’s beautiful and heartening. It is also exhausting. And yet, I am not supposed to be exhausted because that is what “they want.” So, I sit in overwhelm with all the expectations of the world on me. It’s no wonder I haven’t wanted to write.
I’ve been thinking about sewing my own clothing for myself as a plus sized person as well, but Ive often in my head found myself trying to “justify” it by dreaming about a future where I can somehow make money from it. It’s then that I realize how deep this capitalist stuff is because why can’t I just enjoy something to enjoy it? Anyways, reading this made me feel a couple steps closer to being able to sit at my machine (that’s remained untouched for years) and make something for me.
I totally get that. I think we all get caught in that trap but I’m so glad this post moved you forward! We deserve to do things for enjoyment’s sake. Plus, a slow fashion side hustle seems like so much work.
Yes! Say it louder for the people in the back!!
💕
This jacket! You made this jacket?! Love. And impressed.
I’ve been thinking about sewing my own clothing for myself as a plus sized person as well, but Ive often in my head found myself trying to “justify” it by dreaming about a future where I can somehow make money from it. It’s then that I realize how deep this capitalist stuff is because why can’t I just enjoy something to enjoy it? Anyways, reading this made me feel a couple steps closer to being able to sit at my machine (that’s remained untouched for years) and make something for me.
I totally get that. I think we all get caught in that trap but I’m so glad this post moved you forward! We deserve to do things for enjoyment’s sake. Plus, a slow fashion side hustle seems like so much work.
I loved reading this. 🙌
Thanks Jayne! 💖